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Sleep for school children

Children at primary school age need approximately 12 hours of sleep in each 24-hour period. As they get older they may need only nine or ten hours of sleep at night, but it varies just as it does for adults.

Getting my child to bed

Bedtime battles are common with younger children. Sometimes a child will only go to sleep if a parent is there, fall asleep downstairs, or want to go to bed at the same time as his parents. This means they do not have time to spend together. Children also want to assert their independence: refusing to go to bed at night is one way of testing this out. There are several strategies you can try to make bedtimes easier:

• let your child make choices, from which bedtime story he wants to hear to which pyjamas he’d like to wear. That will help to meet his need for independence
  
  
• where possible, stick to a consistent time for going to bed. Again, offer a couple of choices - but only ones that you are happy with. “Do you want to go to bed now and read for ten minutes or go straight to bed in ten minutes?” He chooses, but you are happy either way
  
  
• be calm but firm about bedtime, even if your child pleads for an exception to the usual rules. If you give in to one request for “two minutes more”, you’ll hear it over and over again. If your child has a tantrum, ignore it as you do other tantrums. Paying attention to her - even if you’re shouting at her - will reinforce the bad behaviour
  
  

Children love to practise their negotiating skills. Your child may invent an endless series of requests - some water, the blankets adjusting, a different toy - all of which are designed to postpone bedtime. Try anticipating all of your child’s usual (and reasonable) requests and make them part of your routine. Bring her some water and put it where she can get it, remind her to use the toilet one last time... then allow one extra request - but make it clear that one is the limit.

If your child has got used to going to bed late, try bringing bedtime forward by ten minutes each night until she is going to bed at a reasonable hour.

If your older child is going to bed late, is he having a problem fitting in all he needs to do before bedtime? Homework demands increase throughout the school years, and music lessons and clubs may need to be rescheduled.

How can I get my child to settle to sleep?

You may find that as your child grows, it’s increasingly difficult to settle him to sleep. Children hate to miss out on anything going on, and some will keep coming downstairs or generally make a fuss about having to go to bed at all.

If your child is bursting with energy, let him run around to let off steam before moving on to more calming activities. Help children wind down with a quiet game, bath, or bedtime story.

Children like routines - it makes them feel secure; if your child goes through the same bedtime routine each day, he’ll know what to expect, and may find it easier to drift off to sleep. If you usually read two books and sing a favourite song before you tuck him in, follow this routine every night, even when you’re pressed for time.

To help keep a child in bed while settling to sleep, try story tapes, or books they can read to themselves. You could also use rewards, such as a star chart with a star for every night he doesn’t come down to disturb you followed up by a special treat.

If your child resists going to sleep, you may need to use a “controlled crying” approach. Go through the usual bedtime routine, say goodnight and leave the room. As soon as your child starts to protest, go back in, say goodnight again, and tell him you’ll be back in five minutes to check on him. Do this every five minutes for as long as the crying lasts. It may take a week or more for this approach to work, but it will be worth it.

How can I help my child sleep through the night?

If your child is generally a good sleeper and begins waking in the night, it’s a good idea to check there isn’t a medical reason. He may have an ear infection, for example. However, some children have persistent problems sleeping through the night even when they reach the age of eight or so. The good news is, you can teach them to do so.

The key is to teach your child to fall asleep alone. If he can only fall asleep with you around, he will need you there to soothe him back to sleep when he wakes in the night. If you have been staying in his room while he goes to sleep, try sitting a little further away from him each night, so that he learns how to fall asleep by himself.

If your child disturbs you by persist-ently coming into your bed, take him back, each and every time. Do not give him any cuddles or attention, as these are the rewards he is seeking. Try using other rewards, such as a star chart. Soon he will to settle back to sleep.

How can I calm my child’s night-time fears?

Children have vivid imaginations, which is why your child may be scared of the dark, ghosts or monsters. A night-light can help, as can a chat and a cuddle during the day - it’s best not to raise the subject at bedtime. Some children will find comfort in stories such as The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, which will help them articulate their own fears.

What about nightmares?

Many children occasionally have a frightening dream or nightmare. They usually just need a cuddle and reassurance to settle to sleep again. They’re not necessarily a sign of emotional disturbance - a scary film or story is probably to blame. If they are frequent, make time to listen to your child’s worries in the day and have a particularly cuddly bedtime.

What is a night-terror?

Night-terrors are rare, but very alarming for parents. Your child will seem to wake in a panic, or terrible distress, and while you want to comfort him, he will not be aware of you or his surroundings. Don’t try to wake him, but stay with him until he falls asleep again. He won’t remember anything, even immediately afterwards. Night-terrors occur when your child is coming out of deep sleep -the part of the brain that affects the expression of emotion wakes, but the part related to awareness remains asleep. While these episodes are frightening, children usually grow out of them very quickly.

What about sleepwalking?

A small number of children sleepwalk. If you did it, your child is likely to as well. It usually only happens once a night and for only about 15 minutes at a time, ending spontaneously with your child back in bed and asleep. It is best not to try to wake your child. Some children may be led back to bed, but if yours resists, don’t force him. Ensure that he is safe when he sleepwalks by clearing away all toys, closing all windows and fitting a stairgate and high locks to all external doors. Persistent and frequent sleepwalking may indicate other problems, so talk to your doctor.

How about wetting the bed?

One in ten children is still wetting the bed by the age of five. There may be physical causes, such as a urinary infection - especially if your child has been dry and then starts to wet again -so check with your doctor. Avoiding drinks after 6.00pm may work for children with the occasional wet bed. Punishment won’t help, but star charts and other rewards might. See our leaflet ‘Bed wetting’.

Sometimes there can be emotional causes, such as bullying at school. See our leaflets ‘Bullying’ and ‘Bullying at school’. You can find more ways to cope with night-time problems and worries in our leaflet ‘Behaviour management for under 8’s’.

Further information and help

April 2002

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